Deviled eggs in 25 minutes or less

Once again, preparing my dish at the last minute before a potluck lunch. I had boiled the eggs yesterday, but left it till this morning to peel and fill them. Today's trick: make something that is truly slopped together look like you cared for it.

Step 1: hard-cook a dozen old eggs, then procrastinate about finishing the dish till tomorrow.
My favorite method for hard-cooking: place eggs in a pot, preferably in one layer on the bottom, cover with cold water, put the lid on the pot, bring to full boil on high heat, then immediately turn off the heat and allow the covered pot to sit for 15 minutes.  Pour off the hot water and replace with ice water. Peel eggs when cool.

Step 2: peel the eggs.
This should have been done yesterday while the eggs were wet and freshly shocked in the ice water. Because I put the unpeeled eggs in the refrigerator for a day, peeling today was accompanied by considerably higher amounts of frustration with peels/shells sticking to egg white and a few swear words. Some of the whites were a little pocked because parts of the egg white came off with the shell.
During this step, don't forget to worry about whether you'll be done on time because each egg is taking twice as long to peel as you estimated.

Step 3: cut the eggs in half lengthwise and scoop out the yolk into a bowl. Set the whites on a plate.
Don't forget to look worriedly at the clock a few more times.

Step 4: season the egg yolks and moisten with mayonnaise.
Today's easy-peasy 15-second seasoning: grab a quick pinch of parsley leaves from the bag in the refrigerator, slap down on a cutting board and take out your frustration on them by mincing and remincing with a chef's knife, spin the lid off the seasoning salt so quickly it nearly flies off onto the floor and throw a few dashes of salt with the parsley onto the egg yolks. Groan when you realize you have to take a few more seconds to rip open a new jar of mayo when you use up your last tablespoon in the old jar but still need more mayo. Yank open the silverware drawer, grab the first fork you see and quickly mash the yolks together with the mayo, seasoning and parsley.

Step 5: spoon the yolk mixture into the little well in each egg white and arrange on a plate or in a portable food storage container. 
Check the clock and continue worrying. Scoop up a couple teaspoons or so of filling and smear it quickly into those egg whites. Try not to be too wistful about missing your chance to try out using a Ziplock baggie as a piping tool. No time for love, Dr. Jones! Eat the egg white that is covered on all sides in messy egg yolk after you drop it onto another filled egg.


Step 6: garnish with powdered paprika.
Wrench the lid off your paprika, rejoice that there is a sprinkle section on the inside lid, and sprinkle away till the paprika starts to distract attention from the lopsided egg yolk fillings. Smack the lid on that portable food storage box and carefully run out the door. Don't let the box tip from side to side! You'll ruin the fillings!

Step 7: proudly deliver the finished dish at the potluck table.
Silently hope no one notices the stray bits of egg yolk mixture on the outsides of the egg whites because the box shifted and tipped while you were getting out of the car with it. Smile when your friend says, "ooh! Deviled eggs! Yum!"